Just a Bad Weekend

I'll never forget that weekend in the summer of 1971 when I was selected to play for Rainham First XI against Westerham and Folkestone. I was still a teenager wanting to do well as a promising wicket-keeper / batsman and had recently represented the Medway A.K.C.C. Under 19 XI.

On a cold and windy afternoon at Westerham I was looking forward to keeping wicket. I put on my gloves and pads ready to perform but as I took the field George Phillips who had assumed the captaincy in the absence of Terry Glazier glared at me with a serious look and said:

"Well, actually Woody, Denis Chambers is keeping wicket."

A shocked Denis who didn't usually keep wicket apprehensively went to the changing room and returned wearing the appropriate gear. Equally shocked I took up my position at square leg with a smiling George Phillips captaining the side from the slips. As Denis fumbled and clanged his way through the Westerham innings doing the best he could a vocal George encouraged him with cries of "Great keeping, Denis" when the ball passed through his legs, "well taken" as he dropped the ball and "bad luck" as he grounded a catch. Eventually Denis turned to me with a look of frustration and said:

"Sorry Woody," I didn't ask to do this job."

I nodded with a little sympathy as a vocal, smiling and clapping George Phillips continued with his entertainment in the slips, sometimes smiling, sometimes roaring with laughter.

After tea expecting to spend a long time waiting to bat I was asked to open the batting. After blocking three deliveries the bowler got one to seam back sharply, I was struck on the pad going forward, the bowler appealed and I was given out leg before for 0 in the first over.

Eventually Rainham won the match by six wickets after some good batting by Phil Austin and everyone retired to the Kings Arms pub in the centre of the town. It was here that the second match began - the drinking match. Once again a dominant and smiling George Phillips took control and organized a drinking competition with the assistance of club talker, boozer and farter Phil Austin. This necessitated members from each side drinking a yard of ale from a special glass container as quickly as possible without hesitating. After a lot of noise and excitement Rainham won the match. The two main instigators George Phillips and Phil Austin were almost totally intoxicated but everyone was happy.

After pleasantries between the two sides I informed the players about a nurses party at All Saints Hospital in Chatham to which I had been invited. Travelling back with opening bowler Roy Smith (who sang loudly and very well throughout the journey) and several other players, we reached the hospital at about 11pm.

Finding the appropriate room in the hospital the drinking and dancing was in full swing and virtually the whole Rainham side was present. Unfortunately I drank too much as I tried to forget the cricket, staggered to the toilets after which everything went black and I woke up several hours later in the porters rest room slumped on the floor in my best black velvet suit, violently ill. I was later told that I had collapsed on the toilet floor and had been carried out unconscious to the porters room. My best suit was ruined. Feeling almost paralyzed I was so ill that I was unable to raise myself from the floor. Eventually I mustered sufficient strength to leave my temporary dwelling and being able to stagger to Chatham Hill I got a taxi home.

Suffering the affects of extreme drunkenness I went to bed and unfortunately overslept causing me to miss the meeting with the First XI players in Rainham to play an all day match at Folkestone.

Two days later on my weekly Tuesday evening trip to the Railway Public House in Rainham I met George Phillips who asked me what had happened the previous Sunday. I informed him and then asked about how many runs he had scored.

"Actually Woody, I failed on Sunday." Replied George.

"How many did you score?" I asked.

"I didn't get many," he replied, "but I had to keep wicket in your absence and took six dismissals."

This was so ironic as he had caused me to miss my first game of the season as wicket-keeper on the Saturday and then rubbed it in by having the fortune to take six dismissals in my absence on the Sunday. In the following match against Folkestone during the same season George scored 108 in a Rainham total of 222-2.

With George roaring with laughter and with jibes that have continued about his feat until the present day I felt as if the gods were against me. Sometimes life is very unfair but I will always remember that weekend as one of the most fateful connected with Rainham Cricket Club. I suppose sympathizers would say that it was just a bad weekend.

David Wood 2004