Woody’s Experiences Working in the London Theatre
All the world’s a stage! Or so many people say. But is the theatre the magical place that some people reckon? It’s certainly different. One of the things that struck me is that backstage as well as on-stage is equally exciting and action packed, almost like two parallel productions running simultaneously.
My first experience in the London theatre took place in 1979 at the Adelphi Theatre in the Strand when I went backstage to apply to the master carpenter for a job. I already had a NAATKE union card from my time working at Richmond Theatre, a provincial theatre, so I had eligibility for backstage work in the West End.
The Adelphi, situated between the Strand and Maiden Lane, has a long history dating back to 1806 and stood on the site of a barber’s shop owned by the father of famous British painter Joseph Turner. In 1897 an actor named William Terriss was stabbed to death by another actor at the stage door and his ghost is said to haunt the theatre. Although several old hands told me stories about the appearance of the ghost I never saw it. I did discover that suspicions die hard as I was told by many theatricals not to whistle in the theatre or to pass anyone when going up or down the stairs as this is said to bring bad luck.
The production being staged at the Adelphi when I first started happened to be the Broadway musical ‘Irene.’ A lavish production with a large number of dance routines, the only big name was former Doctor Who TV star Jon Pertwee who played the part of Madam Lucy.
Most of those performing or working backstage were either strangely peculiar or totally eccentric. It wasn’t like anything I had experienced before. Most of the female performers were in love with either themselves or other women while the most masculine of male actors often seemed to be gay in the most exaggerated form, giving themselves female names and standing in corners of the theatre gossiping with fellow actors or eying up the latest young stage hands. Mary (real name David), the male ballet master was the most extreme of these and was unable to stop talking whatever the situation. The head dresser nicknamed ‘Old Bill’, an aging skeletal woman with a cigarette permanently protruding from the side of her mouth wore a two piece suit, shirt and tie had her hair greased almost flat with Brylcream. She was something straight out of the classic musical ‘Cabaret.’
Front of house manager Mr Porter, known to everyone as ‘Polly’ Porter sometimes ventured backstage with his very stiff lipped, well spoken and orderly manner but when meeting with the gay male dancers, often broke into feminine banter in a nearby corner before reverting back to his former tight lipped personality.
Later in the run an American actor named David Ensign who went on to play Ross’s father in the TV comedy ‘Friends’ asked me to produce some photos for him at the theatre front of house and told me some interesting stories about how he had got arrested in Brazil. He was one of the less eccentric actors in the production.
Of the backstage staff the most notorious and well known- a Glaswegian with thirty years continuous service in the West End Theatre named Jock McKinnon who spoke with a broad Paisley accent. Sixty year old Jock resided in the Camden doss house with some of London’s most notorious down and outs. He didn’t have any teeth; he wore a cheese cutter cap and baggy trousers. His bottom lip protruded over his top lip. With a short temper he once threw a plate at the master carpenter then wrestled him to the ground after an argument and had to be pulled off by other backstage staff. Jock, who sold newspapers in the Charing Cross Road during the day, slept in the theatre props room during the afternoon before working on the set during the evening performances. He usually boiled an egg in the staff kettle for his lunch and often repeated the phrase, “A good dosser always washes his cup.”
Jock was so well known in the London theatre that even Sir Alec Guinness occasionally called in at the stage door to take him to a pub for a drink when performing in the West End. Jock later worked at Drury Lane Theatre where he broke a leg while working backstage. I lost track of him after this.
Sometimes the unexpected happened during a performance. On one occasion my job was to run on stage with a stool that had to be placed on the floor just before a dance routine. On one particular night I forgot that I had a large amount of coins in my breast pocket. I ran on stage when the lights dimmed but as I quickly bent down to place the stool on the floor the coins in my pocket flew all over the stage and even into the orchestra pit where several musicians were struck on the head. With the dancers carefully trying to avoid the coins everyone backstage stood in fits of laughter and saw the funny side of the incident while the audience remained totally unaware. On another occasion after the performers had rested in their dressing rooms between shows, one of the older female actresses named Jessie Evans came on stage totally intoxicated after consuming a bottle of gin. Barely able to speak or stand while on stage, the other performers cleverly ad libbed to cover her before she was brought off stage and taken back to her dressing room to recover. It was all part of the fun.
During one scene of Irene, a flyman lowered the wrong flat with a rope. It struck a male dancer so hard on the head that it knocked him unconscious and he had to be carried from the stage while the dance routine continued in front of the main curtain.
One of my most bizarre experiences occurred when I acted as a temporary Assistant Stage Manager for a one off charity show at the Adelphi on a Sunday evening. Nothing had been rehearsed so it was a recipe for unexpected incidents. While I stood in the wings with a torch a line of well known TV faces waited behind me. The performers included stars like Cilla Black, The Two Ronnies, Larry Grayson, Clodagh Rodgers, Cleo Lane and Johnny Dankworth. I had to show them on stage one at a time. During the process of this actor Donald Sinden went on stage but as he walked on Larry Grayson mistakenly came on from the other side. As they met face to face in the middle of the stage with shocked expressions on their faces they cleverly turned the problem into part of the act which turned out to be both comical and successful.
I later worked on a show called ‘Beyond the Rainbow.’ It starred Roy Kinnear and an assortment of American actors and after doing very well on Broadway was expected to be successful in the West End. It was forced to close after only six months. Roy Kinnear, who was later killed while in the process of making the film ‘The three musketeers’, had worked in Richmond Theatre and I had completed some photos for him there and had bumped into him quite often shopping with his wife in the centre of Richmond so he knew me quite well.
After ‘Beyond the Rainbow’ had closed the theatre went dark for several months before ‘My Fair Lady’ opened. The production starred Dame Anna Neagle, Liz Robertson and Tony Britton. Cameron Mackintosh who I had previously met at Richmond Theatre produced the show and American Alan Jay Lerner appeared quite often as he had written the lyrics for the original production. Although an old man in his eighties, Lerner was still able to date and manage a relationship with the attractive Liz Robertson who starred as Eliza Doolittle. They made an odd couple not only because of the age difference but because of their respective heights. Whereas the attractive Robertson approached six feet, Lerner who was rather hunched with thick glasses, was around five feet in height. As they walked out of the theatre arm in arm they did not resemble an average couple. Satirical magazine Private Eye reported that taxi drivers were complaining of sore necks after being accidently kicked due to the romping of the courting couple in the back seat of their vehicles. Private Eye asked the question about whether the couple were really madly in love or was it something to do with the fact that Alan Lerner, a millionaire, owned a huge house in London and a penthouse flat in Beverley Hills? The couple eventually decided to tie the knot but several years later Alan Lerner died. After the memorial service at St Martin in the Fields church, Liz Robertson described it as the greatest show that she had ever attended. After this I never heard of her again. I think she returned to the U.S.A.
For most of the time I worked as a flyman on the show and spent every night pulling ropes to raise and lower the scenery. Some of my colleagues occasionally arrived drunk from the local pubs and the head flyman, an alcoholic Scotsman named Bart once had to be carried down to the props room to recover after collapsing due to the effects of a drinking bout. With songs like ‘I Could have Danced All Night’, ‘The Rain in Spain’ and ‘Wouldn’t it be Lovely’, working on My Fair Lady was good fun. It turned out to be the last production on which I ever worked.
Perhaps the most enjoyable show on which I worked was the Christmas pantomime ‘Peter Pan’ at the Prince Edward Theatre in Old Compton Street in 1979. Susannah York played Peter Pan and Ron Moody played Captain Hook. On the opening night I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the experienced Susannah York visibly trembling with fear before going on stage. The occasion had obviously got to her but once on stage she played the part perfectly. A writer of children’s’ stories and an advocate of acupuncture, Susannah York turned out to be a very friendly and interesting person with whom I had many stimulating conversations. Ron Moody also turned out to be an interesting character while master carpenter Bob Williams spent a lot of time intoxicated in the props room.
Working on the pantomime was a fun experience. Most people were relaxed and lots of parties took place during the run. The funniest occurred in a restaurant in Old Compton Street which Susannah York hired for the night. When the slow dancing took place I found it hard to find a partner because all the men seemed to be dancing cheek to cheek with each other while the women did the same. I seemed to be one of the few heterosexuals present. At the end of the party which resembled the rise and fall of the Roman Empire on a smaller scale, most guests were given a chicken from the fridge to take home. The sight of guests leaving the restaurant in their trendy clothes holding a plucked chicken by the legs was a sight to remember.
Having completed other stints of work at the London Coliseum, the Vaudeville and Richmond Theatre my experiences were memorable, almost like being in a different world and unlike any other work experience I have ever had.
